I had not seen or read the apology message before I posted my message. I've been too busy to read most of the posts lately, but I skim them to keep a handle on what's going on at least. I saw something that made me react & didn't have or take the time to read exhaustively through the thread. I apologize if my response seemed "aggro," it was intended as criticism but not a full-frontal attack & certainly not a troll post; actually I made an effort to end it on a positive, forward-moving note. I will try to be more exhaustive in reading before responding in future.<div>
<br></div><div>+11+<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Tue, Dec 4, 2012 at 4:02 PM, Brian Cloutier <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:briancloutier2010@gmail.com" target="_blank">briancloutier2010@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div class="im"><div><br></div><div>><span style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">I think you owe him (and Josh) an apology for the unqualified harshness</span><br>
</div><div><span style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><br>
</span></div></div><div>><span style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">You are overreacting.</span><br></div><div><br></div>You guys do realize she said sorry right?<div><br></div><div>> M<span style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">aybe you will all love this, as I will now make an example of my own cognitive fallacies, instead of someone else's. </span><span style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">[...] I just reread my exchange with josh and while I called him out for challenging my statements rather than querying them, [...]. The wording is, in fact, a query.</span></div>
<div><p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">"After some review, it turns out that I was wrong"</p><div class="im"><p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">> How much of that set of my assumptions come from my knowledge of josh and past interactions with him? How much is rooted in other experiences I have had? In this case especially I am not really sure.</p>
</div><p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">"We've been dicks to each other in the past, so I made a rash judgement and assumed that pattern was continuing"</p><div class="im"><p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">
> We are a sort of organic computer that constructs algorithms based on data of interactions. If everyone bases their reactions to each other on past experiences then there is some necessary noise in the system. </p></div>
<p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">
"We are all human, and we all mistakes"<br></p><div class="im"><p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">> but what about for all those crazy feminist bitches who flip out every time you interrupt them?</p>
</div><p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">
"Again my bad, I overreacted."</p><p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">> How do you deal with the ways that people act and react, especially when they are different than what you might be wanting? I deal with it by trying to imagine what their motivations are, [...]</p>
<p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">"Usually I do try to be empathetic."</p><p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">> Sometimes I make false conclusions based on my own preconceptions or situation. [...] One thing I like about the metacognitive-neurolinguistic-social-interaction field of study is that it begins by acknowledging this.</p>
<p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">"However this time I really messed up, and I realize that"</p><p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><br></p><p><font face="arial, sans-serif">This is actually a pretty damn good apology. Instead of just saying "I'm sorry" Rachel is saying what went wrong, why it happened, and by referencing science implicitly stating she'll try to do better in the future.</font></p>
<p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">So... can we back off?</p><span class="HOEnZb"><font color="#888888"><p style="font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:13px">- Brian</p></font></span></div><div class="gmail_extra">
<br><br><div class="gmail_quote"><div><div class="h5">On Tue, Dec 4, 2012 at 2:04 PM, John Withers <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:jwithers@reddagger.org" target="_blank">jwithers@reddagger.org</a>></span> wrote:<br>
</div></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div><div class="h5">I love how anytime anyone disagrees with you going off on people, you<br>
can never be wrong because anyone pointing out that you go over the top<br>
agro on people who intended no harm, they are evil oppressors.<br>
<br>
It's win win and possibly one of the most brilliant perma-troll tactics<br>
I have ever seen. Very nice work.<br>
<div><br>
<br>
<br>
On Tue, 2012-12-04 at 15:03 -0500, rachel lyra hospodar wrote:<br>
><br>
> I found this article by searching "calling out oppression" and<br>
> "over-reacting".<br>
> <a href="http://ab-wg.blogspot.com/2009/01/role-of-allies.html?m=1" target="_blank">http://ab-wg.blogspot.com/2009/01/role-of-allies.html?m=1</a><br>
> Maybe I should make a chart of boringly predictable oblivous<br>
> responses, or a robot like lmgtfy that deflects blacklisted emails<br>
> using their adjectives as search terms.<br>
><br>
> Because there are just so many goshdarned people playing out the same<br>
> predictable social dynamics that there are in fact rote predictable<br>
> responses to these discussions.<br>
<br>
<br>
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<br></blockquote></div><br><br clear="all"><div><br></div>-- <br><font color="#990000" face="garamond, serif"><b>You should read my diaries after I die—I talk about you a lot in there.</b></font><br>
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