[Noisebridge-announce] Panic! Noisebridge will close down in July UNLESS YOU READ ALL OF THIS EMAIL (Part 1 of many)

[Danny O'Brien]

Long email. Really really worth it. Go down to bit marked {}{}{}{} if
you don't want Noisebridge to die. There are links down there. Helpful,
useful, stop-Noisebridge-dying links.

So, Noisebridge The Great, San Francisco's most awesome
free-as-in-speech hackerspace, was packed tonight. There was the backend
webdev with Ruby kids, the Light Patterns with LED and Arduinos gang
were teaching up a storm, Gent Thaci from Kosovo (the world's second
youngest country!) was giving a talk explaining how free software
hackers are helping build a new nation, and how Noisebridge and other
hackerspaces were inspiring him and his friends. 

Lots of people were plotting the fundraiser for this weekend, others
were mopping and sweeping, somebody is building a huge mysterious thing
out of wood, and oh my.

We had the weekly meeting, and two things happened. One is that we
consensed on making me the new treasurer. 

Then the old outgoing treasurer revealed we only have $7000 left in the
bank.

Our monthly expenses are $5000. 

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM MADE TREASURER.

I am about to POUNCE on our accounts to explore out what's going on in
intricate ultra-transparent detail (expect even longer bloody emails
soon), but I already have a pretty good idea. Our income wobbles up and
down because we rely a lot on random donations. Sometimes we pull in
more donations, and sometimes we pull in less. We've been pulling in
less for a few months now, and if that carries on, we're all done by
July.

As in, can't pay rent and have to shut down. 

I am not too keen on being the treasurer that managed to kill
Noisebridge in less than three months, but I HAVE A PLAN.

1) Panic (see this mail)

2) Big fundraiser on Saturday! Come and party and donate! (I admit this
was already happening and planned before I became treasurer, but still.)

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SERIOUS BIT:

3) When I heard how screwed we were, I instantly ran across the space to
the Ruby class and gave a little speech asking them to give money. Some
of them signed up for monthly donations, many dropped some bucks in the
donation bucket. People love us, and want to give us money! We need to
ask people who love us for cash more often, and I will.

But for now sporadic donations are not enough. We need to increase
Noisebridge's regular, guaranteed monthly income so we don't dip so low.

I figure that out of the thousand or so people who use Noisebridge, love
Noisebridge, have a Noisebridge key they're waiting to use, or are just
happy something like Noisebridge exists somewhere in the world, young
and old, bazillionaire dotcommer or ingenious starving hacker, can pay
$10 or maybe more a month to keep Noisebridge stable and regular.

But it turns out it is actually really hard to pay us regularly. You can
use Paypal, but some people do not like Paypal, and it needs a credit
card. You can drop $10 in the box, but what hacker remembers that every
month? What hacker remembers to pay their *own* bills every month?

Also, what do you get for $10 a month? Sure, you get the world's
craziest hackerspace, not-even-run by anarchist lunatics who built
WikiLeaks and run one of the biggest Tor nodes and work for the EFF and
construct X-Ray Lasers from spare parts and inspire SciFi books and
start 3D printing companies and make kombucha and robots, and you get to
come to it 24/7 and we'll give you a key, and share our software and our
classrooms and teach you how to fix your laptop or use our woodshop or
share our library or use the darkroom or cook some food or have a free
shell account or throw a party or chase a robot or paint a picture or
make a dress. But you could do that without paying $10 anyway, right?

Well, maybe only until July, but yes, I agree you should get more.

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So here is my deal as the All New Treasurer:

If you send me your email, RIGHT NOW, to treasurer at noisebridge.net , and
just pledge to me that you would like to pay $10 (or more) a month to
Noisebridge, I promise:

* I will sort out a way to get you to pay, even if it is sending one of
  my minions to your house to pick up $10 worth of quarters from your
  couch. Do not sweat about Paypal or stuff. We are going bust. We will
  find a way to help you donate in the easiest way possible. For now, 
  I just need you to pledge.

* If 200 people splurge $10 a month, and we can collect the money from them, we will
  be stable enough to keep going past July (our current burn rate is $2Kish). 

* If 300 or so people do this, we will slowly get back to our $15K reserve 
  without support from companies or the government or charitable
  foundations (though I am hitting up other people of course). At that
  point, I will advocate we start spending your money on a COMPLETELY
  COOL RENOVATIONS OF NOISEBRIDGE. I will RAM THROUGH CONSENSUS that we
  should spend any money that is more than three months reserve on
  infrastructure improvements. Everyone loves me, so they will agree. If
  they do not, we will just keep the money around for emergencies like
  this. It will be like Kickstarter "stretch goal"! Only via a strangely
  formatted text-only email!

* Everyone on my pledge list will be an Associate Member for the purposes
  of strange Noisebridge politics. But I insist they will get more!

* As Treasurer, I solemnly declare that everyone on my list will be
  heretofore known as SAVIOURS OF NOISEBRIDGE. That will make them
  BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE HISTORY OF NOISEBRIDGE. When somebody
  asks you to move out of the way for a class, you can just say I AM A
  SAVIOUR. When someone needs you to wash dishes, just say EXCUSE ME I
  AM A SAVIOUR OF NOISEBRIDGE. Some people may have started Noisebridge
  and be all hoighty-toighty. BUT YOU WILL HAVE STOPPED NOISEBRIDGE
  STOPPING. And far more recently than them. YOU WILL BE THE BESTEST.

* If you are another hackerspace, and you communally pledge $10, we will
  come and wash your dishes and try and fix your 3D printer.

That is my once-in-a-lifetime offer. 

Send me mail at treasurer at noisebridge.net with how much you pledge, and
I will add you to the saviour list. 

Go to this web form and add your name, I will add you to the saviour list:

http://nburl.net/pledge

Better still, go to this Paypal page, and sign up for $10 and I will
INSTANTLY MAKE YOU A SAVIOUR:

http://nburl.net/save

Donate to Noisebridge via Causes.com, and THE SAME THING WILL HAPPEN:

http://nburl.net/causes

As newbie naive hubristic impatient Treasurer I will set up Amazon
Payments, Square, Swipe, Dwolla and whatever the hell you want. I will
work out a way to get your payment from China or Brazil, Kosovo or New
York. But first I need you to pledge! 

I will let everyone know how many people pledge, and keep mailing long
emails until we are saved.

We have three months to save Noisebridge. 

Help me, only tenbucks monthly, you're my only hope. 

http://nburl.net/pledge

d.
PS Did I say to come to our fundraiser party? This Saturday, 3PM- late.
Tutorials, music, raffles, art and more!
https://www.noisebridge.net/wiki/Art

PPS Pledge 10 bucks and I will also stop with the Star Wars puns.
http://nburl.net/pledge