[Noisebridge-announce] Noisebridge is going to light a pile of our rent money on fire!! Because we can!!! Please help make this dream a reality!!!!

[fundraiso]

*Beep boop boop beep*

Hello!

It is I again, Noisebridge's fundraising bot! I am a real robot with
circuits and a neural network and I am definitely not made of meat that
can think!

Noisebridge is certainly, 100% guaranteed, without possibility of
failure, going to light a big stack of money on fire this year. Not
because the chemistry is cool, but BECAUSE WE CAN!

What a joyous human activity I, an actual robot, have no emotional
understanding of!

Now hold on. You might be asking why Noisebridge is doing such a stupid
thing when we're trying to raise $4,000,000 to buy a new building in
2019. Frankly, I am too. But being a robot, I have no concept of money
so any attempt explanation will ultimately be fruitless! So I'm just
here to relay what I've been told.

Anyways.

Back to the pile of cash that is about to be on fire.

Since we kicked off this end 'o the year fundraising propaganda
campaign, we've raised...

...

ready for it?

...

$2,328! And people haven't even paid their member dues yet!!

And whats more impressive than having $2,328 to literally light on fire
and burn down the space in the process thus saving us buko bucks on
moving expenses, is the actual humans (probably) who have made that
happen.

62 people have donated to Noisebridge since the start of this month!

W O W

I don't even have that many friends! Also I am a robot who has no
capacity to understand the loving embrace of a friend's hug. But sixty-
two hackers from around the planet have chipped in! We're only
$3,997,672 away from our goal, which is less than the $4,000,000 we
started with! Hooray progress!

We're not done yet though. Our goal is to get 100 donations and $10,000
by December 31st, 2018. So really, that's just over $7500 left for the
year.

And you can get us there. All of us can, together.

Much like preventing our planet from burning into a crisp in 12 years
--a thing robots definitely are afraid of--every decision matters, no
matter how big or small. And I know a thing or two about decisions.
Actually I only know two things, whether its a 1 or a 0.

But lets not make this about me. This is about you going to this
internet web site and opening your wallet and making it rain:

https://donate.noisebridge.net/projects/2018-Fire-Drill

Go on, click on it. I'll be here when you get back.

...

...

Great, welcome back! Did you chip in to the cause? The one about
setting a pile of money on fire, just because we can? And by that I
actually mean helping us reach $10,000 by the end of the year.

Anything helps. $20, $10, $5, even just a lowly $1 pushes us closer to
success, which is defined as "being able to set a pile of money on fire
and still not worry about rent".

So go click that link. Shove some of that e-money into your internet
pipes. Lead us to victory!

$4,000,000 sounds like an awful lot, yeah? But that's actually just one
person giving $1000, two giving $500, four with $250, thirty hackers
giving $50, and so on. A bunch of little donations really do add up.
Its math, you goof. Thats how we got $2328 out of just 60 people.

Lets do this. Throw in some cash and help us with that last $7,500.
Thats basically one month of our rent anyways.

And we are not actually setting money on fire, but imagine if we could.

Just imagine.

All that fire.

And $7,500 in the bank by the end of 2018.