[Noisebridge-discuss] Be Excellent to one another [drama]

[Davidfine]

Hi,
I've added the [drama] tag to this email thread so that my filters can 
separate it out from emails about events and such. Please continue to 
keep this tag in the subject when you reply in this thread.
I encourage others to add the tag to interpersonal threads in the future 
and to setup their filters according their own preferences.
This is not a commentary on Autumn's post, which I haven't read, it was 
just the one at top when I added the tag.
Thanks for helping me sort my inbox,
--David

Autumn Tyr-Salvia wrote:
> When you say something that offends someone, the way to handle that is
> to say "I'm sorry I offended you."
>
> That's it, that's all you need to say.
>
> *Even if* you did not mean to offend that person. *Even if* you think
> that person is being oversensitive or thin skinned or otherwise should
> not have found any offense in what you said. The fact is someone felt
> hurt, and if you are a decent human being you should feel sad that
> your words hurt someone.
>
> Whether or not that person should have been offended is a separate
> conversation that I suggest you should have privately in a one-on-one
> conversation.
>
> It's entirely true that everyone you encounter is going to have a
> different standard for what is and is not offensive.
>
> It's also entirely true that *most* people have issues they are
> admittedly oversensitive about - I know that I personally have a few
> issues I should probably just get over, but having years of painful
> experiences associated with those things make it pretty hard for me
> not to take what someone might have meant to be a casual comment as a
> personal insult.
>
> Compassion is what community is made of.
>
> Whether or not someone should have been offended is *not* a reason not
> to offer a quick simple apology for having hurt them.
>
> Apologizing does not mean you agree they should have been offended.
> Apologizing does not mean you don't privately think they should get
> the hell over it and grow up. Apologizing does not mean you have now
> lumped yourself in with the racists and the homophobes and the others
> who are intentionally prejudiced and awful.
>
> Apologizing does mean that you respect that person enough to feel bad
> that you hurt them, and to want to maintain cordial relations with
> them going forward.
>
> Noisebridge is a community, and communities thrive on compassion.
>
>
> --Autumn Tyr-Salvia (Atala)
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>
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