[Noisebridge-discuss] retaining members

[Christie Dudley]

Heh.  Yeah.  I did a 5 minutes of fame talk on this very subject which
earned me some, get this, *anonymous* dressing down.  Never really felt much
like coming back after that, especially since I don't even know who all
hates me.  I keep thinking about coming back in but never can seem to get
motivated.

Remember...
- Just because someone's been a member for a long time doesn't mean you
can't chase them off.
- Disapprove of problem behaviors, not people.
- Engage in dialog, not diatribe - even if you're right you need to be sure
you're being heard and understood.

Christie
_______
"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being
perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."
--Anna Quindlen



On Thu, Feb 3, 2011 at 1:18 PM, jim <jim at systemateka.com> wrote:

>
>    the last long-winded discussion brought to mind
> memories of previous email storms, notably those that
> included a scolding tone. in the aftermath of some of
> these email storms, at least, i know we've subsequently
> lost members who were put off by the scourging they
> perceived they were getting. note that some members who
> were not targets have disappeared, seemingly out of
> disgust. i have to say i don't like being associated
> with a disapproving group.
>
>    expressing disapproval of others should be done   <---
> very carefully, at least if we want to retain members.
>
>    seems to me that if the urge to disapprove of
> someone else comes up, think of it as a need to go
> to a kind of virtual toilet and relieve yourself in
> private. after venting, maybe clean up and then go
> to the target and ASK QUESTIONS (rather than make
> accusations).
>
>    i think it's okay to hate others, it's kind of
> fun, but threatens group survival if expressed
> publicly.
>    i'm asking, please don' do that no more, please.
>
>
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