[Noisebridge-discuss] retaining members

Christie Dudley longobord at gmail.com
Fri Feb 4 04:58:21 UTC 2011

Heh.  Yeah.  I did a 5 minutes of fame talk on this very subject which
earned me some, get this, *anonymous* dressing down.  Never really felt much
like coming back after that, especially since I don't even know who all
hates me.  I keep thinking about coming back in but never can seem to get

- Just because someone's been a member for a long time doesn't mean you
can't chase them off.
- Disapprove of problem behaviors, not people.
- Engage in dialog, not diatribe - even if you're right you need to be sure
you're being heard and understood.

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being
perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."
--Anna Quindlen

On Thu, Feb 3, 2011 at 1:18 PM, jim <jim at systemateka.com> wrote:

>    the last long-winded discussion brought to mind
> memories of previous email storms, notably those that
> included a scolding tone. in the aftermath of some of
> these email storms, at least, i know we've subsequently
> lost members who were put off by the scourging they
> perceived they were getting. note that some members who
> were not targets have disappeared, seemingly out of
> disgust. i have to say i don't like being associated
> with a disapproving group.
>    expressing disapproval of others should be done   <---
> very carefully, at least if we want to retain members.
>    seems to me that if the urge to disapprove of
> someone else comes up, think of it as a need to go
> to a kind of virtual toilet and relieve yourself in
> private. after venting, maybe clean up and then go
> to the target and ASK QUESTIONS (rather than make
> accusations).
>    i think it's okay to hate others, it's kind of
> fun, but threatens group survival if expressed
> publicly.
>    i'm asking, please don' do that no more, please.
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> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
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