[Noisebridge-discuss] common courtesy: logging into wiki / not editing user pages

[rachel lyra hospodar]

hi all,

i am going to chime in here to thank jason for publicly & politely
calling out a really important issue.

Noisebridge is a huge sausage fest, ie there are many more men than
women that use the space.  Technology itself can be something of a
sausage fest, with lots of dissenting opinions on why that is.  Research
generally indicates that this is because of discrimination and
unfriendly environments.  IE, it sucks getting a million sausages waved
at you if you are a vegetarian, or just not hungry.

LET'S NOT PERPETUATE THAT SHITTY SITUATION.  Many women I have talked to
at Noisebridge have observed a phenomenon much like slow zombies when
someone with brains has entered a room: the sausages lumber over to
congregate around the lone rutabaga and say something witty like "so,
you appear to be female."  These sausage zombies standing in between an
unwitting hacker and her tools are an obstacle to hacking.

Patrick, here is the part where i am talking specifically to you:
while mating dances happen at Noisebridge, as they do anywhere that
humans congregate, most denizens of the space are not there for that
reason, and would appreciate it if you would ask if it's mealtime before
whipping out your sausage.  Non-euphemistic version: DON'T FLIRT WITH
ALL WOMEN. IT'S GROSS.  Additionally, consider ceasing to group "women"
into this group of "other" with which you must interact by "flirting".
these are hackers, here to hack.  Just because you feel like a kid on a
playground doesn't mean that the person with whom you are interacting
feels the same way.  IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE that the person with
whom you are interacting has as much say about the appropriateness of
your behavior as you do, and in fact whoever's guidelines are more
conservative holds the trump card.  Simplified version: IF THE PERSON
YOU ARE TALKING TO SAYS YOU'RE BEING INAPPROPRIATE, AND YOU DON'T STOP,
THEN YOU ARE BEING INAPPROPRIATE, EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK SO.

In fact, here, let me repeat that.

IF THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO SAYS YOU'RE BEING INAPPROPRIATE, AND
YOU DON'T STOP, THEN YOU ARE BEING INAPPROPRIATE, EVEN IF YOU DON'T
THINK SO.

I don't know specifically what went on, although I did hear about some
horribly harassing and bigoted messages that you sent to another lady
that you don't seem to be mentioning here. BUT in the future if you put
more effort into reading the reactions of the other person you are
interacting with, and less into listening to your own cleverness, you
might have better luck communicating, whatever the intent of that
communication.



On 2/22/2011 11:01 AM, Patrick Keys wrote:
> safety in numbers. i flirt with all women. we're all acting like silly kids on a playground.
> 
> only because you asked, by my count of regular women at noisebridge, there's:
> 1 i sent two emails, an offer to hookup then an offer to be friends
> 1 i sent a joking email after she kept showing up at the top of my facebook "People You May Know"
> 1 i offered to share a blanket
> 1 i drove to school
> 1 i called a "hot chick"
> 1 i offered to be really good friends
> 1 i told to fuck off
> 
> Does any of that make me a creepy old man like Charles Bukowski? Your guess is as good as mine.
> 
> This conversation, along with the birds, bees, and beautiful weather outside all remind me its spring.
> 
> 
> Patrick
> 
> 
> 
> 
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