[Noisebridge-discuss] Please reach out

[Erik Schneider]

Yes to all of this.

I did not know Ilya, but any suicide, especially within communities to
which I belong, is always a point of sorrow and, unfortunately,
identification for me. I have struggled with severe depression for
over forty years, and although there are many suggested remedies, it
can be a tenacious, energy and will-sapping beast. Actually, to call
it a beast is to insult beasts.

Listening to people who have experienced this themselves may be one of
the most important and useful things that others can do. Most of us
are very aware of the commonly-prescribed treatments for depression
and have tried, depressingly, many of them to varying results. I do
not mean to be snotty or arrogant when I say this; I simply mean to
say that those who have been there are likely sources of the most
accurate information regarding what works and what does not, and that
depression is often a self-perpetuating condition that resists even
the best attempts to get out more, see friends, eat healthily,
exercise, and so on.

When your own brain is telling you that you are worthless, stupid,
ugly, and hateful, it can be a herculean task simply to brush your
teeth.

For myself, I can say that one of the most helpful things that one can
do for friends is to let them know that you care and that you are open
to conversation about things that might not be easy or fun or
lighthearted. Whether or not you are aware someone is experiencing
depression, this is one of the best preventatives in my experience:
being there, being available, and being explicit about that
availability. Often it is assumed that if a friend were in distress
they would tell us, but this is, as I'm sure most of us realize, not
the case at all. Depression tells you that nobody cares, and it does
so with an alarming rate of success.

It is also true that many of us who deal with mood or mental disorders
have experienced, more than once, the cooling of relationships that
sometimes occurs when we are open about our conditions. This is one
reason why it is so important to let your friends know that you will
not walk away if they speak openly with you.

Many of us have experienced rejection from family as well--some of us
since very early in life. To overcome the fear of alienating another
loved one can be quite difficult.

I appreciate that this is being talked about on the Noisebridge list.
I don't know many of you, although I have been to Noisebridge many
times. Like many people with depression, I keep to myself as a very
old and, sometimes, tired defense. It heartens me to know I am at
least tenuously connected to a community that wants to reach out to
people like myself.

Thank you.

Erik

On Sun, Nov 20, 2011 at 19:15, Brian Morris <cymraegish at gmail.com> wrote:
> There is an art of self defense in regards to depression. Often for many
> people ignore it and it will go away is initially effective in the short
> term - because normal activity is so important.
>
> Some people really swear by exercise. It doesn't have to be extreme at all
> but it has to be aerobic 30-40 minutes continuously 3-4 X weekly.
>
> Omega - 3 treatment may be really helpful but it is ESSENTIAL to get an
> adequate therapeutic dose which is impossible with the standard capsules.
> But a 3.5 oz can of sardines daily is good (= about 10 standard capsules).
>
> Psychologically, the 12 step slogan Think ... Think ... Think is extremely
> helpful. It is the middle think = think about what you are thinking that is
> crucial. It is really a shame that this is not taught in health classes in
> school. Anyway it is based on dealing with negativity. Generally, watch out
> for generalizing. Helps to clearly distinguish feelings and thoughts about
> them and to recognize feelings as they are (tricky).
>
> Meds and Therapy can really suck sometimes but they can also really help
> sometimes.
>
> -------
>
> All the above my opinion / experience personal and with friends + family +
> discussions with professionals + reading + writing (not as a professional
> mental health worker !)
>
> Unfortunately some people do crash and burn. Very unfortunately. But
> sometimes a crisis is required for someone to get serious about taking care
> of themselves.
>
> Results vary, as do effective therapies.
>
> I believe that, even in chronic cases, effective pain management is possible
> - suffering is not required.  But I cannot see inside others' heads.
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Noisebridge-discuss mailing list
> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
> https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/noisebridge-discuss
>
>



-- 
Erik - eriktrips at gmail.com
decolonize!