[Noisebridge-discuss] Please reach out

Mitch Altman maltman23 at hotmail.com
Mon Nov 21 19:25:02 UTC 2011

Very well said, Erik.  Thanks for all that. Letting your friends know that you care, and that you are there for them, no matter what -- this is a wonderful thing to do.  You don't need a reason to say this.  And it feels really good.  Why not try it today? Mitch.  --------------------
 > Date: Mon, 21 Nov 2011 08:07:40 -0800
> From: eriktrips at gmail.com
> To: noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
> Subject: Re: [Noisebridge-discuss] Please reach out
> Yes to all of this.
> I did not know Ilya, but any suicide, especially within communities to
> which I belong, is always a point of sorrow and, unfortunately,
> identification for me. I have struggled with severe depression for
> over forty years, and although there are many suggested remedies, it
> can be a tenacious, energy and will-sapping beast. Actually, to call
> it a beast is to insult beasts.
> Listening to people who have experienced this themselves may be one of
> the most important and useful things that others can do. Most of us
> are very aware of the commonly-prescribed treatments for depression
> and have tried, depressingly, many of them to varying results. I do
> not mean to be snotty or arrogant when I say this; I simply mean to
> say that those who have been there are likely sources of the most
> accurate information regarding what works and what does not, and that
> depression is often a self-perpetuating condition that resists even
> the best attempts to get out more, see friends, eat healthily,
> exercise, and so on.
> When your own brain is telling you that you are worthless, stupid,
> ugly, and hateful, it can be a herculean task simply to brush your
> teeth.
> For myself, I can say that one of the most helpful things that one can
> do for friends is to let them know that you care and that you are open
> to conversation about things that might not be easy or fun or
> lighthearted. Whether or not you are aware someone is experiencing
> depression, this is one of the best preventatives in my experience:
> being there, being available, and being explicit about that
> availability. Often it is assumed that if a friend were in distress
> they would tell us, but this is, as I'm sure most of us realize, not
> the case at all. Depression tells you that nobody cares, and it does
> so with an alarming rate of success.
> It is also true that many of us who deal with mood or mental disorders
> have experienced, more than once, the cooling of relationships that
> sometimes occurs when we are open about our conditions. This is one
> reason why it is so important to let your friends know that you will
> not walk away if they speak openly with you.
> Many of us have experienced rejection from family as well--some of us
> since very early in life. To overcome the fear of alienating another
> loved one can be quite difficult.
> I appreciate that this is being talked about on the Noisebridge list.
> I don't know many of you, although I have been to Noisebridge many
> times. Like many people with depression, I keep to myself as a very
> old and, sometimes, tired defense. It heartens me to know I am at
> least tenuously connected to a community that wants to reach out to
> people like myself.
> Thank you.
> Erik
> On Sun, Nov 20, 2011 at 19:15, Brian Morris <cymraegish at gmail.com> wrote:
> > There is an art of self defense in regards to depression. Often for many
> > people ignore it and it will go away is initially effective in the short
> > term - because normal activity is so important.
> >
> > Some people really swear by exercise. It doesn't have to be extreme at all
> > but it has to be aerobic 30-40 minutes continuously 3-4 X weekly.
> >
> > Omega - 3 treatment may be really helpful but it is ESSENTIAL to get an
> > adequate therapeutic dose which is impossible with the standard capsules.
> > But a 3.5 oz can of sardines daily is good (= about 10 standard capsules).
> >
> > Psychologically, the 12 step slogan Think ... Think ... Think is extremely
> > helpful. It is the middle think = think about what you are thinking that is
> > crucial. It is really a shame that this is not taught in health classes in
> > school. Anyway it is based on dealing with negativity. Generally, watch out
> > for generalizing. Helps to clearly distinguish feelings and thoughts about
> > them and to recognize feelings as they are (tricky).
> >
> > Meds and Therapy can really suck sometimes but they can also really help
> > sometimes.
> >
> > -------
> >
> > All the above my opinion / experience personal and with friends + family +
> > discussions with professionals + reading + writing (not as a professional
> > mental health worker !)
> >
> > Unfortunately some people do crash and burn. Very unfortunately. But
> > sometimes a crisis is required for someone to get serious about taking care
> > of themselves.
> >
> > Results vary, as do effective therapies.
> >
> > I believe that, even in chronic cases, effective pain management is possible
> > - suffering is not required.  But I cannot see inside others' heads.
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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> > Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
> > https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/noisebridge-discuss
> >
> >
> -- 
> Erik - eriktrips at gmail.com
> decolonize!
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