[Noisebridge-discuss] My 2 cents. An extremely long rant for whoever wants to read/listen.

Justin Doerr justinsfca at gmail.com
Thu Feb 16 21:04:01 UTC 2012

OK, I'm going to be honest here.

The Valentine's Day Meeting was appalling for me to witness to say the
very least. I personally got up and left the meeting at one point and
waited for its adjournment because I noticed a lot of unhealthy
resentment toward other individuals within the atmosphere of
Noisebridge, even though I definitely had an important announcement to
make. I will put that announcement on hiatus and further allot a
period of time for people to gather their things from the e-Waste bin
before I get some things off my chest.

I'll start by saying I am entitled to feel what I feel. I feel like I
am witnessing an unhealthy level of paranoia at Noisebridge of things
going wrong or haywire. I for one, do not include myself in the
"Occupy" movement, nor am I entirely against it being brought into the
space. I feel like not everyone necessarily has to be hacking
something within the hackerspace. I don't hack all the time. One of
the things I've liked about coming here so far, is that I recognize
more what my strengths and weaknesses are at this space, because as
opposed to the realities outside of Noisebridge, this micro-society
doesn't prevent me from doing anything I don't want to do.

Sometimes I come into Noisebridge, and I get really stoned with kind
individuals and I dunno, talk to someone who's openly expressing that
they have suicidal thoughts, and console and comfort them in letting
them know that everything is going to be OK. Sometimes I come to
Noisebridge and help those who have 0 to minimal resumé building
skills and I share my knowledge on how to make these individuals more
appealing to employers out there, and how to hone in on a more
suitable career path for themselves as individuals, versus building a
general resumé that's unattractive and boring. Sometimes I come to
Noisebridge and teach what little I know about nonviolent
communication to those who would have, if uninformed, chosen to do
otherwise. Sometimes I come to Noisebridge and vent my personal
problems to random strangers, and I feel amazed at how many people
have lent me their ears in support when I've done so. Sometimes I come
into Noisebridge and play with little kids and teach them how to do
things like draw new shapes, or teach them new useful vocabulary
words. Sometimes I come to Noisebridge and other really cool
individuals teach me things like what a "photon" is, or how Lasik
surgery works, or why carbs are good/bad for me. I've learned how to
solder my laptop chord, saving myself hundreds of dollars in
purchasing a new one. I took a computer hacking class at City College,
and I brought in one of my projects involving VMWare and asked for
help, and someone taught me how to hack within the guidelines of the
project, but instead applying a real life approach to it, regardless
of the legality issues that I wouldn't have otherwise gotten away with
at City College.

I know for a fact that I am not always on my best behavior. I've slept
here many times in the past before it became like FOR REAL
UNEXCELLENT. I've smoked either pot or cigarettes on the fire escape
balcony. I've forgotten to do my dishes. I've forgotten to take out
the trash, and/or I've thrown things into the wrong disposal bins and
pissed people off. I've gotten plastered and broke a lamp and woke up
to Ben shaking me, and experiencing the most UNEXCELLENT hangover with
somebody grinding a piece of wood in the shop area
nails-on-a-chalkboard-status. Basically, I'm leaving all of the times
I've gotten plastered within the confines of Noisebridge up to any and
everyone's interpretation, good or bad. I've sat on Robert's feet and
got flung off by some person, and ridiculed via Discuss list for days
in a row for doing that. I really could go on and on about all the
things I've done wrong and considering the fact that I choose to be
rational about it, I accept my flaws to the best of my abilities to do
so, as I feel that I have no guilt, shame, anger, or depression for
not being perfect or up to some people's "standards."

The point I'm trying to make is that I fear that Noisebridge is in the
process of "hacking" itself into an oblivion, because we are
erroneously making examples out of individuals who the community
doesn't consider to be hackers, and are ultimately resorting to
McCarthyism and turning Noisebridge into an arena for "witch-hunting."
I'm feeling as if this is like another red-scare tactic resulting from
people's paranoia of another John type of incident occurring at NB.
There are many people here at Noisebridge whose contribution and
skills don't necessarily involve computer hacking that come here on a
regular basis and hang out, and are resourceful and filled with
potential. Or hey BETTER YET, some of these people who the community
general conceives to be "non-hackers" are just as lazy and
irresponsible as the people who ARE "hackers" and full-time geniuses;
I think it would be entirely unfortunate and foolish to glorify one,
and dispose of the other for having the same unexcellent personality

So the next time someone asks me if I'm "hacking" or "working on
something," I'll gladly provide them either a "Yes" or "No" answer,
considering I really honestly don't care if it offends any of you if
I'm really doing something that is proactive and educational, or
gawking at fashion blogs, liking photos on Facebook, rocking out to
music, playing Tetris, or looking at very naughty websites and
giggling unapologetically. One thing is for sure, the ultimate reason
why I come here, is because I know I won't wind up in jail, or doing
crack and being homeless on the streets of SF. Even worse I won't be
condemned to work at a relentlessly boring corporate cubicle slave job
for the rest of my life. I know I'm not always grateful for what I
have, but I'm not about to see this place turn to shit if I can help
it. I'm sick and tired of all of the screeching that's been going on
lately, along with the level of hatred and animosity that people who
aren't necessarily involved in "Occupy" are outputting. I was really
happy with last week being relatively drama-free and I really want
this all to END. I swear, do I have to be all dramatic and turn into
Ghandi and sit at the front gate and go on a hunger strike to get my
point across? or can people willingly just fucking stop being

I'm finished with my rant.


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