[Noisebridge-discuss] I've calmed down although this email is quite lengthy.

[Justin Doerr]

So I will gladly address to the community that I'm upset and angry and
that I've made a mistake or error in judgement if you will, last night
here at the space. But I am in fact a human being and if you can't
already tell, a pretty OPEN one at that. I feel the best approach to
everything is honesty. With that being said, I am admitting that I
made a mistake of getting plastered in the space last night. My
roommate told me I came storming home and that I was screaming and
crying in tears and yelling out the window and slamming doors and just
all KINDS of drama. I'm really glad I did, because we both finally got
to sit down and catch up with one another and we had an amazing
conversation.

>From talking to her, I've sort of come to terms with the fact that I'm
a mild or stage 1 alcoholic, with an emphasis on binge drinking. I've
been drinking a lot lately, but I know I'm entirely capable of
stopping myself, and I have gone days, weeks, months, and even years
at a time without drinking. The very truth of the matter is I hate
binge drinking and I hate hangovers, and I hate that I do it a lot.
But what I hate more is stress and anxiety. Hence the viscous cycle. I
show up to Noisebridge all the damn time because for once in my life
I've found something I truly believe in and am willingly volunteering
my time to get involved in. This place, even WITH ALLLLL of its drama
is fucking awesome. And finally I feel like I've found a place where I
can be surrounded by people I identify with: Geeks and nerds if you
will. However nerds and geeks can be stressful to deal with at times,
and even though I love being around geeks and nerds like myself, we
often lack the ability to be socially mature with one another and we
do "stupid things in rooms full of smart people" and therefore we have
problems that we all need to get together and discuss IN PERSON, not
through email, Noisebridge Disgust, and definitely not at a Tuesday
night meeting.

Speaking of which, I hate to digress and go off topic but one of my
biggest problems that I seem to be having lately is with my
relationship that I have with a person I literally see everyday in
this space. We all know who I'm talking about here, and if not I'm
sure someone can fill you in but I choose not to name names, because I
feel it's the courteous and polite thing to do. But yeah, it sure
fuckin feels like a relationship with all the bickering and arguing
that we do with one another. Although I realize we both have very many
things in common in the sense that like me at times he can be rather
INTENSE, and right now I want to ask him to

A. Please remove whatever video footage he has of me in his
possession, and if he's already gone viral with it, I'm making a
polite request that he please take it down. I've spoken with my mother
about this, and even though she has my support, we both don't want
this to turn into a legal battle.
B. I am politely requesting that he takes his own advice that he gave
to me and give me my personal space. As in addition to not talking to
me, not doing things like taking my top Ramen and redistributing it to
everyone else, or moving shit around without giving proper notice
first PLEASE. If he values my friendship with him, I will gladly talk
with him at a later date and time but currently it's beginning to be a
little too much for me to deal with and I for one am not willing to
cause more damage than I already have with our friendship. Because, I
don't know.... our friendship matters to me?
C. Please respect that I do love him a lot, and that I'm really sorry
for all of the mean and horrible things I've said and done. I want to
work out some sort of conflict resolution where we both can compromise
and work things out for the both of us. I'm so fucking done with
fighting, GOD!!!!

Now that I'm trying to make amends, I would also like to apologize to
the community for being a belligerent asshole last night. I'm not
going to make any promises about leaving the hackerspace or quitting
drinking outright. I don't need to have a Noisebridge intervention and
I don't want to personally show up to tonight's meeting because there
will be Noisetrolls present, gleefully poking my naked body with
pitchforks sort of like the way they were doing to me last night.
Middle finger to all of you for that btw. I personally felt like I was
being treated like an abused dog for pooping on the floor and I'm very
appalled by what I can vaguely remember last night. If it wasn't for
someone I truly appreciate politely pulling me aside and asking me
nicely to leave, I would have never left and I probably would have
done something incredibly foolish and I would've lashed out in anger.
SOUND FAMILIAR GUYS?!?! This whole Stanford Prison Experiment is going
on right here at Noisebridge, and I got to play the part of the
prisoner last night, while everyone else got to play guards.

So without further ado, I'm going to actually come tonight to announce
to everyone at the meeting that they can read this email, but
otherwise I don't want to show up to my own witch trial which will
ultimately result in me being burned as a heretic, and I'm going to
actually spend my time um... "hacking" something or at least focus my
time on doing something other than socializing. Like being productive,
sort of like what I was doing last night while washing the dishes or
learning how to design my new blog which is REALLLY funny btw. It's
going to be promoted as soon as you google "Noisebridge" and find it
yourself. Then I'm going to talk to that one other really awesome
chick and have her teach me how to create my own clothes. YAYYYYYY!

That's all,

Justin Patrick Doer-r