[Noisebridge-discuss] l'art de la nourriture le piratage

[daravinne]

Ok look, you guys.  The stove is getting hooked back up.  The kitchen
is not being ripped out with a sledgehammer.  Time to gear up for some
FOOD HACKI-

Oh, wait, no, apparently someone is making sushi in the kitchen that
they are not only refusing to share with the locals, but taking
elsewhere to sell for $5-10 each. The hippies are lining up for the
soup kitchen and suddenly no one knows what a trash bin is actually
for.

GUYS THIS IS NOT FOOD HACKING.  We have no internet-enabled coffee
machines with their own webpages.  We have no smart vending machines
that text someone when they are out of soda.  No fancy scales,
fine-tuned sensors or ingredients with only unpronounceable chemistry
names.  I saw liquid nitrogen ice cream ONCE.

THIS IS FOOD HACKING:

http://www.cookingissues.com/2010/03/23/enzymatic-peeling-hell-yes/
Removing citrus pith with enzyme mixtures for perfect, obscenely
creepy looking segments?  Sign me up!

http://discovermagazine.com/2006/feb/cooking-for-eggheads/  Using
carefully controlled temperatures to only unroll specific egg white
proteins and finely control the texture and hardening of an egg white?
 Sounds like science to me!

http://blog.khymos.org/2012/01/19/recreational-kitchen-mathematics-cookie-tessellations/
 Okay, you're not hacking the actual food, but it's math, applied to
solve a problem, AND you get cookies at the end.

http://www.popsci.com/diy/article/2010-01/cooking-sous-vide-inexpensive-diy-way
Make your own DIY sous vide thingamabob! We have all the sensors,
tools, solder and parts RIGHT OVER THERE.  And then you get tasty,
tasty meat to wave at the vegans.  Oh, that article doesn't really
have enough science of the actual food, here you go:
http://blog.khymos.org/2011/04/01/tfp-2011-sous-vide-master-class-part-2/
let's talk about specific temperatures, Maillard flavors, hydrolysis
of connective tissues.....

http://blog.khymos.org/2011/01/30/diy-mineral-water/ Why don't we even
have a straight up water carbonater?  Is even that going to get made
into a robot?

I flailed around on the internet for like 10 entire minutes and found
all the above and more.  It's really embarrassingly easy to find
interesting yet accessible molecular gastronomy material and great
ideas for classes, projects, learning sessions, themed dinners,
whatever the hell you want.  Hell, you could even reverse-engineer
food like that one guy did with the Shake Shack burger (do any of you
leftcoasters even know what a Shake Shack is?).  Instead we have a
hippie-infested soup kitchen hiding behind a bunch of printers that
never work.  I honestly don't have anything against mushrooms or
fermented edibles on principle, but when that's the apex of
Noisebridge's culinary accomplishments, that's kind of sad.  And I'd
love to be able to check if the coffeemachine has fresh coffee in it,
and possibly initiate a brewing pot if not, via my smartphone on the
way to the space.

What's that? Why don't I get all do-ocratic and start/run these events
myself? Well, shit, I'd love to get 'Molecular Gastronomy, or: Real
Food Hacking, You Classless Knob' going weekly, with a side seminar
'The Art of Kitchen Tidiness (Your Mother Doesn't Live Here)', except
I've already got 5mof to run, a zine to be involved in, a full time
job, other non-hackerspace stuff to do, and somewhere in there I want
to sleep and chill out from time to time.  I can't find any of those
pesky clones of myself either, so unless any of you feel like chipping
in as my unpaid personal secretary/maid/errandperson/massage
therapist/footstool, all of these wonderful foodhacking fatspirations
(you know, opposite of thinspiration) are yours for the taking and
implementing!

However, as I've stated previously: look, people are lazy shitfucks.
I'M a lazy, lazy slacker, and I feel very scared when I'm the most
driven person in the room.

Lots of us are busy, though; usually the busy ones have amounts of
money proportionate to their business, and the poor ones have time
inversely proportionate to their finances.  Perhaps some of you can
join forces and active your Wonder Twin powers: form of Actual Food
Hacking!