[Noisebridge-discuss] Community Policing

Mitchel McAllister xonimmortal at yahoo.com
Tue Apr 16 08:44:43 UTC 2013

I know that NoName suggested this, but that suggestion got derailed into a discussion of whether or not he, specifically, was qualified.

I really wish that it didn't come to this. But it seems that a lot of people are not going to get the idea of "Be Excellent to Each Other" unless we make it very obvious that they are not, in fact, being excellent.

So here it goes:
To the people who decided making waffles for everyone was a great idea, NO YOU DID NOT CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. How do I know? I just washed the mixing bowl you made the batter in, the measuring cup you used to dip the batter out and pour it into the waffle iron, and the sheet pan you used to keep the waffles warm in the oven (kudos on *not* leaving that in the oven all weekend).

To the people who made a casserole, YOU DID NOT CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. I don't care if you were washing dishes beforehand, the truth is you did not clean up after yourself and you left it for someone else to do. How do I know? I just washed the crockpot you used (for step one, I suppose) and the two casserole dishes you transferred it into after you figured out that a crockpot does not cook raw chicken as fast as an oven.

To the person who cooked scrambled eggs in the small red and white skillet (and seems to have walked away while it was cooking, going by the burned-on egg) YOU DID NOT CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. How do I know? I just spent almost ten minutes scraping the left-over egg and carbon out of it with a knife.

To the people who claim they spent so much time cleaning the space this weekend - YOU DID NOT CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. How do I know? The four martini glasses, numerous jelly jars, etc. that you were all using, in plain sight of everyone, to drink out of.

In relation to this, I have some earth-shattering news:

Your mommy does not work here. Don't like doing dishes? Then don't dirty them. Jeez, they teach that level of cause and effect in kindergarten.

Moving dirty dishes from sink A to sink C does not constitute washing them. Besides, we've asked, posted signs (and reposted them, several times) but sink A is for dirty dishes. Sink B is for rinsing, and should never be found with food in it, mostly because there is no garbage disposal in it. Sink C should be for sanitizing, but that's more of a lost cause than expecting people to wash their damn dishes.

(Note: if somebody doesn't stop dumping garbage and silverware down the garbage disposal, sink A won't have one either)

Dumping knives into a full sink is criminally negligent. Thank you for endangering the health of anyone who, unlike you, decides to clean up after you. And no, it's not a question of "if", it's a question of "when".

If this continues, I would strongly suggest that people keep an eye on who is cooking (and what they are cooking), and then start publicly, LOUDLY start calling them out.

I know that there are some people on the list who just got a chubby at the thought of somebody else got called out, but I am going to assume that most people don't want this happening to them.

No replies are necessary, as it will only indicate that you may actually be one of the people above, and we wouldn't want that, would we?

P.S. Hiding glasses and jars in Church and Turing doesn't fool anyone. Yeah, YOU.

- Reverend Mik McAllister
"You can see the summit but you can't reach it
Its the last piece of the puzzle but you just can't make it fit
Doctor says you're cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain"
 - Howard Jones, "No One Is To Blame"
Purveyor of Subversive Fiction

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