[Noisebridge-discuss] [drama] Addressing individuals

[Drew McDermott]

> In the case of Daravinne, I intentionally broadcast personal info about
her
> as an attack because I know she's a very private person & would hate that.

Can you and the guy with the knife and whoever he was trying to knife stay
away from the space for a while?
You are screwing up Noisebridge for everyone.

thanks.






On Wed, Apr 17, 2013 at 7:07 PM, Tony Longshanks LeTigre <
anthonyletigre at gmail.com> wrote:

> I understand your suggestion. In the case of "The Reverend Mik" and Dan
> Chinaski, I intended to tell them both in person this morning that I
> thought their violent behavior last night inhibited the workspace & made me
> uncomfortable in the space, & that since I said that last night & they
> disregarded or pretended not to hear it, I was going to take the next step
> & post it to the Disgust list. This is the same thing that happened with
> another individual (it's not a secret, but I'll refrain) a year or so ago
> after I confronted him about some mega shitty behavior on his part in the
> NB kitchen: not only did he not take responsibility or show any contrition,
> he escalated things further, at which point my options were to engage in a
> physical confrontation with him in the middle of the space, or bring it to
> the community's attention. I chose the latter.
>
> In the case of Daravinne, I intentionally broadcast personal info about
> her as an attack because I know she's a very private person & would hate
> that. I, on the other hand, hate having 3 years of work stolen from me,
> first by police, then by her. We're talking about things I've worked on on
> a DAILY basis for the last 3 years, which I have been unable to touch for
> the last 2 months. I knew I ran the risk of arrest, jail &c when I holed up
> in the darkroom in the unused lab at UCSF Parnassus, but I didn't expect it
> from a "friend," even one who had shown previous hints of her "true colors"
> in the past. In other words, airing that sort of personal attack is not
> something I would normally do, but you know the saying: all's fair. She
> promised to let me get my files off that computer before she took it back.
> She broke her promise, then failed to return the data to me after a
> reasonable period of time. That's all there is to it as far as I'm
> concerned. But I will keep my promise to J. & say no more about this, for
> now.
>
> JCF, your suggestion is well-intended, but assuming your post was at least
> partly inspired by my posts this morning, you are basically accusing me of
> being a sissy when that's not really what's going on here. Pulling knives &
> ripping off vast amounts of work & data from people isn't 3rd grade stuff.
> I know a lot of us hackers have the social skills & emotional response
> rates of a burnt-out toaster, but...try taking some of this seriously &
> having some compassion, instead of attacking the messenger. I know for a
> FACT I'm not the only one who has been bothered by both Mik AND Dan in the
> space recently, but when it comes time to throw down, how many people say
> what they really feel? And I'm the coward!
>
> Really?
>
> +11+
>
> PS You could always set yr phone not to buzz every single time someone
> posts to NB Disgust. Or get rid of yr phone entirely, like I have. They're
> tracking devices, you know. That's why the government offers them FREE to
> anyone!
>
>
>
> On Wed, Apr 17, 2013 at 4:05 PM, Jeffrey Carl Faden <jeffreyatw at gmail.com>wrote:
>
>> Just a suggestion when participating in group discussions in general: if
>> you have advice or other input for an individual person who is part of a
>> discussion - even if they initiated it - it might be a good idea to address
>> them directly instead of CCing mailing lists.
>>
>> When you unnecessarily CC, it tends to further drag people through the
>> mud and make it look like a community is ganging up against them.
>>
>> If you feel scared about addressing the person privately and individually
>> about something specific, you might ask yourself why you thought it was a
>> good idea to make your thoughts known to everyone.
>>
>> Also, it will stop my phone from vibrating out of this plane of existence.
>>
>> Jeffrey
>> _______________________________________________
>> Noisebridge-discuss mailing list
>> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
>> https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/noisebridge-discuss
>>
>
>
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>
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