[Noisebridge-discuss] Rachel's language

Alcides Gutierrez alcides888 at gmail.com
Sun Mar 30 01:58:20 UTC 2014

I think C. W. has written a very thoughtful and balanced treatment of how
to approach violations of boundaries.

Whether or not a boundary is (made explicitly ) known BEFORE it has been
crossed is irrelevant if honest reconciliation is the goal.

When someone has stated AFTERWARDS that a boundary has been crossed,
acknowledgement of the event is a fantastic first step to honest

To be fair, name calling or similar negative tones in explaining a crossing
of boundaries is not the most excellent way of approaching honest
reconciliation. Whether or not reconciliation is the goal, one might want
to consider what they ARE aiming for and reflect upon one's choice of
language accordingly.

I personally try to refrain from judging people's choice of socializing,
because we each have our own cultures of selves. Some people are quite
comfortable with abusive language delivery/reception. However, and Im sure
everyone is already aware, what we say and how we say it can get us closer
to or further from our goals.

On Saturday, March 29, 2014, Johny Radio <johnyradio at gmail.com> wrote:

> PS, respecting other people's boundaries is extremely important to me. If
> your reading of Discuss was more than "scant", you'd see that i have had
> the integrity to apologize publicy for past errs.
>   Dear C. Whatiwant,
>> I can only base my understanding of others' boundaries upon what they
>> STATE their boundaries are. If Rachel had stated "Do not message me
>> off-list anyone", then i would gladly acknowledge that i crossed that
>> boundary. She did NOT say that. Therefor, on what basis did I cross a
>> boundary? Where did Rachel explicitly state that boundary? Please link me
>> to her boundary-statement. If you provide evidence that I crossed her
>> boundary, i will gladly acknowlege it.
>> Btw, C. Whatiwant-- you just messaged Rachel off-list, as her email
>> address is in your TO list.
>> -jr
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Alcides Gutierrez
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