[Noisebridge-discuss] That's so gay...

[Glen Jarvis]

On Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 2:14 PM, Jeffrey Malone <ieatlint at tehinterweb.com>wrote:

> For me to have a husband would be homosexual.
> Thus, my statement was accurate, and contained no slurs.  It stated a
> simple fact.
>

Ah! Of course. The previous text of "showing it to your husband."


> Anyway, yes it indeed was a joke.


Ah, and now I see the context, it's also funny :)


>  I specifically do not use the word
> "gay" as a slur, but I don't consider it a taboo word either.  I never
> viewed it as a statement that people would take offence to, and
> therefore clearly never intended to offend anyone.
>

I personally wasn't offended. I only brought this up because 1) I thought it
might offend someone else after the recent sensitive emails, and 2) I wanted
practice at responding to someone that may have said something offensive
(although it obviously wasn't in this case).

I would hope that the type of response I gave was productive - bring the
point to light without sounding accusatory and causing drama/hurt feelings.
If this was helpful, maybe we can use this type of response as a way of
diffusing situations, expressing hurt, without 'biting back' and therefore
causing hurt in response to hurt.

If it wasn't helpful, well, I am very open to other ways I could have been
empathetic and have a better response. I, for one, can critique myself now
and see that I missed the original joke ('That's so gay' in response to
something that was actually technically 'gay'). So, how can one respond to
something without truly understanding with real empathy without really
understanding both sides.


> So while this may come as a surprise to many, I for once have not
> tried to offend someone, and even weirder, and sorry if I did.
>

Thank you for saying that.. that was very excellent :)


> Additionally, the phrase "No, that would be gay" is a boderline meme
> at Noisebridge.
>

Although I'm not sensitive to this at all (I have thicker skin now and this
wasn't offensive to me, particularly). I do find that this  "that would be
so gay" is also a theme in middle school where it is very hurtful.

If it's part of our cultural because we laugh at it... good on us... We do
seem to have a very excepting environment (both gay and geeky... how
cool!!!)

Regardless, thank you for being so excellent!!! :)


Cheers,


Glen
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