[Noisebridge-discuss] That's so gay... [drama]

[Davidfine]

Hello,
I've added the [drama] tag to this thread. Please continue to use this 
tag in your replies to this thread.
Thanks for helping me sort my inbox,
--David

Glen Jarvis wrote:
> On Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 2:14 PM, Jeffrey Malone 
> <ieatlint at tehinterweb.com <mailto:ieatlint at tehinterweb.com>> wrote:
>
>     For me to have a husband would be homosexual.
>     Thus, my statement was accurate, and contained no slurs.  It stated a
>     simple fact.
>
>
> Ah! Of course. The previous text of "showing it to your husband." 
>  
>
>     Anyway, yes it indeed was a joke.
>
>
> Ah, and now I see the context, it's also funny :)
>  
>
>      I specifically do not use the word
>     "gay" as a slur, but I don't consider it a taboo word either.  I never
>     viewed it as a statement that people would take offence to, and
>     therefore clearly never intended to offend anyone.
>
>
> I personally wasn't offended. I only brought this up because 1) I 
> thought it might offend someone else after the recent sensitive 
> emails, and 2) I wanted practice at responding to someone that may 
> have said something offensive (although it obviously wasn't in this 
> case). 
>
> I would hope that the type of response I gave was productive - bring 
> the point to light without sounding accusatory and causing drama/hurt 
> feelings. If this was helpful, maybe we can use this type of response 
> as a way of diffusing situations, expressing hurt, without 'biting 
> back' and therefore causing hurt in response to hurt.
>
> If it wasn't helpful, well, I am very open to other ways I could have 
> been empathetic and have a better response. I, for one, can critique 
> myself now and see that I missed the original joke ('That's so gay' in 
> response to something that was actually technically 'gay'). So, how 
> can one respond to something without truly understanding with real 
> empathy without really understanding both sides.
>  
>
>     So while this may come as a surprise to many, I for once have not
>     tried to offend someone, and even weirder, and sorry if I did.
>
>
> Thank you for saying that.. that was very excellent :)
>  
>
>     Additionally, the phrase "No, that would be gay" is a boderline meme
>     at Noisebridge.
>
>
> Although I'm not sensitive to this at all (I have thicker skin now and 
> this wasn't offensive to me, particularly). I do find that this  "that 
> would be so gay" is also a theme in middle school where it is very 
> hurtful.
>
> If it's part of our cultural because we laugh at it... good on us... 
> We do seem to have a very excepting environment (both gay and geeky... 
> how cool!!!)
>
> Regardless, thank you for being so excellent!!! :)   
>
>
> Cheers,
>
>
> Glen
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