[Noisebridge-discuss] Sex Unconference
Meredith L. Patterson
mlp at thesmartpolitenerd.com
Mon Oct 26 05:24:07 UTC 2009
Jason Damisch wrote:
> Calling me a motherfucker does not make me feel any less uneasy
> about kink. It does nothing to ease my concerns that this
> civilization is aggressive, and that aggressiveness is reflected
> in everything which it touches, including sexuality.
Is your unease rooted in your perception of kink as aggressive?
I can see where that perception comes from, but I submit (har!) that the
boundaries (oh, boy, I'm full of entendre tonight!) of kink go far
beyond the typical perception of physical violence and
dominance/submission play. Sensation play, food play, teledildonics,
role-playing, and pretty much any kind of object fetishism are just the
first few things that come to mind when I think of practices usually
described as kinky which often don't involve any behaviour which could
be characterised as aggressive.
I say "often" because really any type of behaviour, sexual or
non-sexual, *can* have an aggressive tone to it. This includes plain ol'
vanilla sex. In practice, though, at least in my experience and that of
pretty much every other kinkster I know, behaviour which may on the
surface appear aggressive actually serves as a means to the end of
greater psychological intimacy.
Maymay has mentioned that KinkForAll is a discussion and learning event,
not a play event/sex party/&c. In that light, I suggest that you might
find it usefully educational to meet and talk with kinky people in a
non-sexually-charged setting and learn more about what motivates them. I
think you will find that inherently aggressive natures aren't it.
Cheers,
--mlp
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