[Noisebridge-discuss] Don't be creepy

[Liz Henry]

On 2/20/11 8:53 PM, Alex Handy wrote:
> Please fuck off and die, before I make a huge issue about you
> emailing unsolicited sexual advances to female Noisebridge members.
> How'd you like to talk about that on the list, ya fucking creep.
> 


I get why people might decide not to make a huge issue about being
creepily harassed at Noisebridge or by Noisebridgers, but since creepy
sexual harassment has apparently happened, it *is* a huge issue.


On 2/22/11 3:21 AM, Rigel Christian wrote:

> example: after someone told you they were creeped out by your email
> solicitation, you reportedly responded by leading off with
> 
> "I'm certain that you are neither offended nor creeped out."
> 
> And went on to continue your harassment of this poor person. That
> qualifies as "repeated"


Rachel wrote:

>  I did hear about some
> horribly harassing and bigoted messages that you sent to another lady
> that you don't seem to be mentioning here.


I didn't hear about this, and I wish I had.  Could people please report
it to the list when this happens so it can be discussed and aired and
the rest of us can be aware?


I would like to directly address Patrick now.

Patrick, can you see that it is creepy to email someone an "offer to
hook up" whose name you got off Facebook or the NB wiki?  That sounds
creepy to me, not like flirting.

Then, apparently you were asked to stop contacting her, and you continued.

Then there is the denial of agency. If I said to you "I'm offended and
creeped out" and you replied "I'm certain you are neither offended nor
creeped out", then, you are not respectful of anything to do with
personal boundaries. You would be claiming to see inside my head into
what I feel in direct contradiction to what was asserted. This is a
major denial of agency attack.

Given this interaction between you and a woman you think you have
"flirted" with "jokingly", I am seriously uncomfortable with you and
when I next run into you at Noisebridge will ask you to answer for it
face to face and explain your behavior.

Also, I don't think you need to enumerate how many women you've
harassed. One is enough.


Patrick, you also wrote:

>  Why does 
> anybody care about mine (or anybody else's) private life?  I've always 
> been a good sport about personal attacks on me, but this mailing list 
> has about 500 people on it.  Given that everything you're discussing 
> took place outside of Noisebridge, you're not giving any sort of 
> consideration to this amazing non-profit that we all enjoy.

This is quite disturbing to me as well.  Here, you seem to be saying
that off a public list, you can harass women who frequent Noisebridge,
with no social consequences, because any airing of the harassment in
public would hurt Noisebridge.  That won't fly.  I'm calling you on that
big time.  No way.

Since you don't respect women telling you individually to stop harassing
them, I think we might need to organize some sort of group to come and
speak with you collectively to explain why it is unacceptable.

That might not be enough here and I'd like to know what other people
think.  I feel here that Patrick has crossed a major, major line in many
ways which I listed above.  I don't care if someone is kind of annoying
and a time sucker.  That's inevitable. But I don't want our community to
tolerate blatant misogynist disrespect for women and blatant harassment.





- Liz







-- 
Liz Henry
lizhenry at gmail.com
http://bookmaniac.org
http://badgermama.com