[Noisebridge-discuss] How close do I need to get with amperage?

[rachel lyra hospodar]

If you want to neutrally apologize for advice that sucked, say 'i am sorry
that advice sucked'. If you want to imply that you, and your advice, are
somehow responsible for other actions, then say 'i apologize for killing a
perfectly good thing' or similar. It is a logical fallacy, albeit a small
one, that places more agency in your court than is actually warranted.

I have my own tone problems in my previous email. Sorry my tone sucked.
Talking about the pervasive cultural problems that have kept me from being
comfortable pursuing work in any computer tech field makes me kind of
aggro. Not annoyed, aggressive.  It is my aggressive stance that has
allowed me to gain a foothold in a geek culture inimical to me, and I think
it's of note that most of the women prominently involved in noisebridge
community are kind of, well, bitches.

I might be harshing folks' mellow by pointing out the level to which
paternalistic & mysogynistic overtones subtly permeate so many
interactions. Unfortunately, this is a fact of life. The novelty is that we
are talking about it.  Perhaps, dear reader, you and I hold different
opinions about how important it is that we try to move away from this.

I don't much care about reddagger's offhand comment, per se.
I've been to noisebridge twice in as many months. Perhaps in part because
the former of those two times, I got told extensively about how I needed to
be body-painted by some sweaty-palmed visitor. Ick.

Thank FSM for technology spaces that aren't hostile to women. There are few
enough of them.  Anyone who wants to meet up with me in one, and reminisce
about the days when noisebridge was one, let me know.

Why am I doing this in public? Because public dialogue is my goal.  Not
some sort of scheduled hand-holding circle for those who already drink the
kool-aid, or private mediation of my hurted feelings, but dialogue about
substantive issues, in public. Because I already know how to create for
myself a private space that is free of this kind of bs. When I try to
engage at noisebridge people often either hit on me or marginalize me.  Not
always in a big way... Just enough to create and reinforce this
gender-lopsided culture that so many of you are supposedly sadfaced over.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socratic_dialogue

R.

(Anyone who thinks I am stirring up too much drama can start counting down
now from all of the interpersonal conflicts I have helped to mediate at
noisebridge. All between men, with poor interpersonal communication skills
and an unwillingness to see the other's point of view... imagine that.)
On Dec 21, 2012 3:18 PM, "John Withers" <jwithers at reddagger.org> wrote:

> On Fri, 2012-12-21 at 17:25 -0500, rachel lyra hospodar wrote:
> >
> > So here is some more. In this email you try to take repsonsibility for
> > my potentially fried electronics.  This is probably an attempt to
> > apologize for what you are actually responsible for, as well as trying
> > to reboot the tone of our conversation.
>
> No, it's trying to apologize for giving advice that might have slightly
> sucked. When I say something technical, I try for that thing to be
> correct, or I don't say it. Not thinking through a use case is a slight
> fail in that, thus my apologizing if I contributed to anything failing.
> I do this regularly and will continue to do so when contributing to
> technical conversations.
>
> If I felt I had any need to apologize for anything else, I assure you I
> would do so.
>
> j
>
>
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.noisebridge.net/pipermail/noisebridge-discuss/attachments/20121221/235f6b06/attachment-0003.html>