[Noisebridge-discuss] Feminist Book Club For Men: tomorrow 7pm was: The Nuclear Option

Lee Sonko lee at lee.org
Fri Jan 17 05:00:05 UTC 2014


Hannah, I say again, please reread my emails and your response and then try 
responding again. I suggest you wait a day to cool off before hitting the 
Send button.

I repeat: I hope that the feminist book club for men meeting went well. Did 
it? I haven't seen anything on the list.

Lee


On Wed, Jan 15, 2014 at 6:38 PM, Hannah Grimm <dharlette at gmail.com> wrote:

> Lee,
> No one is obliged to interact with you.  You misbehaved on the wiki, and 
> lost privileges.  You then engaged in a campaign of harassment against Tom 
> that was vastly out of proportion with the issue at hand, in which you 
> continuously sent him passive-aggressive emails, looked up his number 
> online so you could call him on his personal phone without invitation, and 
> dragged unrelated targets into your obsession with him.  Danny already gave 
> you your wiki privileges back, so at this point you are just trying to 
> demand the attention of someone who has made it perfectly clear that they 
> do not want to engage with you.
>
> I'd like to remind you of some of the information in our anti-harassment 
> policy: "Harassment includes offensive verbal comments related to gender, 
> gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, physical 
> appearance, body size, race, religion, sexual images in public spaces, *deliberate 
> intimidation, stalking, following*, harassing photography or recording, 
> sustained disruption of talks or other events, inappropriate physical 
> contact, and unwelcome sexual attention...*People asked to stop any 
> harassing behavior are expected to comply immediately*."
>
> This is me telling you that what you're doing is harassment, and asking 
> you to stop.  Do not contact him again.  
>
> Hannah
>
>
> On Tue, Jan 14, 2014 at 11:56 PM, Snail <snailtsunami at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> So, you think he's doing a poor job of it and want to volunteer to run 
>> the book club discussion yourself? Or do you have another nominee in mind?
>>
>>
>> On Tue, Jan 14, 2014 at 10:57 PM, Lee Sonko <lee at lee.org> wrote:
>>
>>> Hannah writes:
>>> -------- Original Message -------------
>>>  I think you need to back off here.  Replying to a thread about 
>>> something awesome and very much needed at Noisebridge to dredge up a 
>>> personal grievance you have with an individual is an obvious and deliberate 
>>> attempt to stir up drama and to drag the feminist book club down with it. 
>>>  That is not cool.  The way you describe your interactions with Tom (calling 
>>> & emailing him repeatedly, despite him making it clear that he doesn't want 
>>> to speak with you) is a set of behavior that frankly would incredibly freak 
>>> me out if you were doing it to me.  If feminism is "the belief that men and 
>>> women should have equal rights and opportunities" then I hope you don't do 
>>> this to ladies because I'd be seriously threatened by this kind of behavior.
>>> -------- End of Original Message ------
>>>
>>> Tom changed my rights on the wiki and then refused to discuss the 
>>> matter, or any matter, repeatedly. That was my first and only interaction 
>>> with him despite me trying nicely to resolve the situation. I am receiving 
>>> a clear signal that he is not a good communicator.  That directly 
>>> relates to him organizing a feminist book club; I suppose it actually 
>>> only relates to him facilitating a discussion, not organizing, but the two 
>>> tasks often go hand-in-hand. If he is petty and non-communicative with me, 
>>> a virtual stranger, I don't believe he would make a good leader for a book 
>>> club founded on discussing the sometimes strained communication between 
>>> people of different genders. Hence my comments.
>>>
>>> >calling & emailing him repeatedly, despite him making it clear that he 
>>> doesn't want to speak with you)  is a set of behavior that frankly 
>>> >would incredibly freak me out if you were doing it to me
>>>
>>> Please reread my original email, that is not what I wrote, nor is that 
>>> what happened. He used his powerful rights on the wiki against my account 
>>> and then (as now) refuses to communicate about the exercise of those 
>>> rights. The issue has, sadly, never been resolved because Tom continues 
>>> to not communicate with me. He told me to stop calling on the phone so 
>>> I stopped. He hasn't responded to any of my emails except those I've CCed 
>>> to the list. So that's how I communicate with him. I'm playing a game of 
>>> his making. I remain open to discussion and resolution. Tom seems to remain 
>>> closed. That seems like a poor choice for an organizer and perhaps 
>>> facilitator of a feminist book club for men.
>>>
>>> I hope that the feminist book club for men meeting went well. Did it?
>>>
>>>
>>> Lee
>>>
>>>
>>> On Wed, Jan 8, 2014 at 6:32 PM, Hannah Grimm <dharlette at gmail.com>wrote:
>>>
>>>> Hey Lee,
>>>> I think you need to back off here.  Replying to a thread about 
>>>> something awesome and very much needed at Noisebridge to dredge up a 
>>>> personal grievance you have with an individual is an obvious and deliberate 
>>>> attempt to stir up drama and to drag the feminist book club down with it. 
>>>>  That is not cool.  The way you describe your interactions with Tom 
>>>> (calling & emailing him repeatedly, despite him making it clear that he 
>>>> doesn't want to speak with you) is a set of behavior that frankly would 
>>>> incredibly freak me out if you were doing it to me.  If feminism is "the 
>>>> belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities" then 
>>>> I hope you don't do this to ladies because I'd be seriously threatened by 
>>>> this kind of behavior.
>>>>  
>>>> Hannah
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>  On Wed, Jan 8, 2014 at 9:23 AM, jarrod hicks <hicksu at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>  Organizing an event at Noisebridge does not require that the organizer
>>>>> be the best person for the job (far from it), only that the person be
>>>>> willing to do the work necessary to make the event/class/meeting
>>>>> happen; 'and proud we are of all of them'. Even if in this case by
>>>>> "not the best" you may actually mean "I think you are possibly the
>>>>> worst", events/classes/meetings are educational for their facilitator
>>>>> as well and so not being good at something is still a great
>>>>> prerequisite for organizing getting together with others to learn.
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> Noisebridge-discuss mailing list
>>>>> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
>>>>> https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/noisebridge-discuss
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Noisebridge-discuss mailing list
>>> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
>>> https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/noisebridge-discuss
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>> -- 
>> -Snailssnailssnailssnailssnailssnailssnails
>> ............. _ at y
>> http://obamaischeckingyouremail.tumblr.com/
>>  
>> _______________________________________________
>> Noisebridge-discuss mailing list
>> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
>> https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/noisebridge-discuss
>>
>>
>
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