[Noisebridge-discuss] Rachel's language

[rachel lyra hospodar]

Specifically, I have a policy that if people send me private messages that
feel harassing, intended to cause discomfort, I take it public. As hep
says, this is a frequent occurrence for people who dare to be female in
public. Such a frequent occurrence that I have formed a policy around it -
as you say, forming policies is hard work and I actually have fewer than
Noisebridge does.

Also, if people try and privatize a public discussion, I will sometimes
continue the discussion in the public forum where it started. Especially if
it's a person with whom I do not feel safe or comfortable having a private
discussion.

Since you don't do these things, you are safe. You might be <elided> but
you're not <elided>.

Sometimes people send me thoughtful and kind private messages as an act of
solidarity. I often like these, and in general respect them as an
acceptable form of private communication.

R.
On Mar 27, 2014 5:34 PM, "Al Sweigart" <asweigart at gmail.com> wrote:

> I did not know that Rachel did not want to be privately messaged before
> reading about it on this thread. I'm really glad I didn't accidentally do
> so.
>
>
> On Thu, Mar 27, 2014 at 8:19 PM, hep <dis at gruntle.org> wrote:
>
>> I also agree that Johnny knew about this request. I will note that this
>> is something that many female tech persons have to deal with, having their
>> wishes for contact explicitly ignored and then having the calling out of
>> that behavior questioned. "misunderstanding" seems to go a long way towards
>> excusing boundary crossing behavior.
>>
>> -hep
>>
>>
>> On Thu, Mar 27, 2014 at 7:18 PM, Naomi Gmail <pnaomi at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> ...... I think Rachel is on target here. Johny must have previously seen
>>> Rachel's post-to-list behavior and deliberately wrote that to bother her.
>>>
>>> If I imagine Johny writing that to anyone else it seems pretty
>>> nonsensical.
>>>
>>> --Naomi
>>>
>>>
>>> On Mar 27, 2014, at 7:11 PM, Al Sweigart <asweigart at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>> Because he added the request for you to post to the list does not mean
>>> he knew that you did not want to be privately messaged, if I follow this
>>> right.
>>>
>>> But he does know now, so he won't. I agree with Ryan, this does seem
>>> like a misunderstanding.
>>>
>>> Lolol.
>>>
>>> Johny's claim of innocence here would make sense if he hadn't appended a
>>> request to post his messages to the list to both private emails he sent me.
>>>
>>> I don't expect an apology from him, but if he is calling the quote I
>>> posted a lie that's interesting, and if he expects anyone to believe that
>>> he didn't know about this desire of mine then I don't really know what that
>>> quote was supposed to mean. Here's the request he put in his other email to
>>> me:
>>> "I hope you don't like this message so that you share it on-list."
>>>
>>> Do you deny writing that, johny? Be sure to tell my killfile all about
>>> it.
>>>
>>> I'll say that in fact the times we've encountered each other at
>>> noisebridge I've been, if anything, rude to him, since I think he's <elided
>>> negative words>.
>>>
>>> R.
>>>
>>> In summary; a misunderstanding, all is good.
>>> On Mar 27, 2014 8:19 PM, "Johny Radio" <johnyradio at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>>  ------ Original Message ------
>>>> From: "hep" <dis at gruntle.org>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Rachel asked *everyone* to please message her onlist in at least one
>>>> recent thread that I read
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Unfortunately, i don't have time to read every post to the list. So no,
>>>> i did not see that. Nor do i feel it's my responsibility to read every post
>>>> by rachelyra, to make sure i don't miss any general instructions.
>>>>
>>>> And since Rachel and i have chilled in-person at NB with friendly
>>>> vibes, i had no reason to assume that.
>>>>
>>>> To Spinach claim, Rachel never asked me, Johny Radio, not to message
>>>> her off-list, as Spinach stated.
>>>>
>>>> If Rachel, or anybody, does not want to be messaged off-list, i suggest
>>>> you put that in your signature in every post you send.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> Noisebridge-discuss mailing list
>>>> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
>>>> https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/noisebridge-discuss
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> hep
>> hepic photography || www.hepic.net
>>     dis at gruntle.org || 415 867 9472
>>
>
>
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