[Zines not Drama] ZiP One postponed - WARNING: This post may contain material of a Personal and Dramatic nature
Tony Longshanks LeTigre
anthonyletigre at gmail.com
Thu Jan 19 21:48:07 UTC 2012
I'm sending this to the Zipsters + Noisebridge Discuss & a few stragglers.
This is exactly the sort of "personal drama" post I dislike & wanted to
avoid, but I can't really overlook the boulder that just landed on top of
me & I don't have time to write a mass of individual letters right now.
This is the first time I've been online since Tuesday night, when the
universe - my universe anyway - seemed to begin a slow meltdown that
culminated in total implosion.
*ZiP Issue One is going to be delayed slightly due to circumstances
presently beyond my control.* I'm determined to finish it, hopefully in the
next few days, because too much work has already gone into it - mine and
the work of others, notably Adam, Miloh, and Gavin - to throw it away. *This
is as far as most people need to read. Anyone who wishes to know more about
my personal circumstances, read on.
For anyone who doesn't know, I've been squatting for the last few months,
and Wednesday morning - following a horrific night in which I got
absolutely no sleep due to the drug-addled antics of a former "friend" who
owes many people, including myself, a MAJOR apology - a man claiming to be
the owner of our squat came over with police & threw us out, along with all
my stuff. My immediate goal is to find a place to crash temporarily, and
hopefully somewhere to stash some of my stuff so I don't lose everything I
own in a flash. I was a first-time squatter. I had two months that were
really quite lovely, and then it suddenly ended in a way that was not
lovely at all. I knew this could happen when I started, and I accept it.
My future in SF is very much in doubt at the moment. My 3 years here have
been an endless series of catastrophes wherein I am unable to ever find
stability because my living and/or employment situations are constantly on
the rocks. As much as I like Noisebridge, it is plagued with needy people
who take and give nothing back to the space. I don't want to be one of them
- I never once slept there, never will; actually brought a number of
homeless or shiftless people from NB to my squat, in an attempt to
alleviate that issue; usually have and prepare my own food which I share
with others when I can (but not when I can't). I've been able to get lots
of creative work done - it's my passion and really the only thing I care
about - over the past few months largely because I haven't had to work
full-time and have been floating on unemployment. I haven't figured out how
to make a living, at SF rates, through writing, zine-making, & other forms
of creativity yet. The paper I was writing for paid $50 an article and I
wrote about 3 a month for them. That doesn't even pay the bills when you're
So I'm giving serious thought to leaving the city. And going.....anywhere
else! Maybe back to Portland. It seems to be calling to me. I fought for a
long time because leaving felt like defeat & failure, but you gotta know
when to fold 'em* and I think it may be that time. Maybe I'm wrong and
there actually is a life for me here, we'll see. I'm really in the mood to
travel the world with everything I own in one small suitcase & start over
fresh somewhere new, outside the U.S. But I don't have a passport or money
for airfare, so that's a pipe dream for now.
Maybe I'll come to NB this eve to attend 5 Minutes of Fame, but I'll
probably feel lame for flaking out.....so probably not. I hope it goes well.
End of File
Tony the Dilapidated Tiger
*In times of hardship, I often turn to the work of Kenny Rogers for
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