[Noisebridge-discuss] Blade Runner: Noisebridge Halloween Cyberpunk SFZero Thing, Saturday Oct 31 19:00

[Jeffrey Malone]

For me to have a husband would be homosexual.
Thus, my statement was accurate, and contained no slurs.  It stated a
simple fact.

Anyway, yes it indeed was a joke.  I specifically do not use the word
"gay" as a slur, but I don't consider it a taboo word either.  I never
viewed it as a statement that people would take offence to, and
therefore clearly never intended to offend anyone.
So while this may come as a surprise to many, I for once have not
tried to offend someone, and even weirder, and sorry if I did.

Additionally, the phrase "No, that would be gay" is a boderline meme
at Noisebridge.

Jeffrey

On Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 2:00 PM, Glen Jarvis <glen at glenjarvis.com> wrote:
> On Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 1:11 PM, Jeffrey Malone <ieatlint at tehinterweb.com>
> wrote:
>>
>> No, that would be gay.
>
> I'm going to try to practice being excellent and do the best that I can to
> be so. If I falter in this, I ask that my peers help me learn how to be even
> more excellent in dealing with this. Regardless of how someone else
> responds/acts, this does not justify any of my 'non excellent behavior.'
> My attempt will be to show how this may be offensive. I will not ask you not
> to do this again. And, I won't be overly dramatic about it. However,
> hopefully, I can shed some light on how this might make a person feel.
> We've recently seen someone get their feelings hurt by something that, I
> think everyone agreed, was innocently said. The comment was "Bro'" referring
> to the group that were both male and female, including transgendered
> females.
> Again, I honestly believe that comment was said innocently.
> Tthe phrase "that's so gay" or this version "that would be gay" has strong
> implications that probably aren't understood from people who say it.
> My understanding, both as an individual, and as a gay man, is: When we hear
> things negatively connotated to 'begin gay' it says very negative things
> about 'being gay.' For example, "I hate that. That's so gay." Over time, we
> start associated negative things to 'being gay' -- especially for young
> people. As a substitute in middle school, I saw a surprisingly strong impact
> that such a simple phrase had on young gay men (and probably women).
> This is even more difficult for young people who are just coming to terms
> with being gay. It adds an extra stumbling block to the process of accepting
> oneself. Although I am not directly linking this statement to the young gay
> suicide rate, please note that, because gay individuals are 'shunned' in
> society, there is a much higher rate of suicide in young gay youth. Many
> just have a difficult time believing they "could be that way" (i.e., such a
> negative thing) and choose not to live.
> So, I ask you, without censoring yourself... without crimping your style of
> communication as much as possible, could you please be aware that that
> particular phrase is known to be hurtful to many people. And, being hurtful,
> intentional or not, is generally not considered excellent.
> Hopefully I did that in an excellent manner. If not, I really *really*
> apologize. My intent is not to curb how you speak, or point blame in any
> way. I only wanted to make certain you knew that, for people I know
> personally, constant repetition of that phrase has really caused harm.
> All the best.... :)
> Warmest Regards,
>
> Glen Jarvis