[Noisebridge-discuss] Blade Runner: Noisebridge Halloween Cyberpunk SFZero Thing, Saturday Oct 31 19:00

[jim]

   a friend of mime once explained that there 
are two types of people: the gays and the glums. 


On Fri, 2009-10-30 at 14:00 -0700, Glen Jarvis wrote:
> On Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 1:11 PM, Jeffrey Malone
> <ieatlint at tehinterweb.com> wrote:
>         No, that would be gay.
> 
> 
> I'm going to try to practice being excellent and do the best that I
> can to be so. If I falter in this, I ask that my peers help me learn
> how to be even more excellent in dealing with this. Regardless of how
> someone else responds/acts, this does not justify any of my 'non
> excellent behavior.'
> 
> 
> My attempt will be to show how this may be offensive. I will not ask
> you not to do this again. And, I won't be overly dramatic about it.
> However, hopefully, I can shed some light on how this might make a
> person feel.
> 
> 
> We've recently seen someone get their feelings hurt by something that,
> I think everyone agreed, was innocently said. The comment was "Bro'"
> referring to the group that were both male and female, including
> transgendered females. 
> 
> 
> Again, I honestly believe that comment was said innocently. 
> 
> 
> Tthe phrase "that's so gay" or this version "that would be gay" has
> strong implications that probably aren't understood from people who
> say it.
> 
> 
> My understanding, both as an individual, and as a gay man, is: When we
> hear things negatively connotated to 'begin gay' it says very negative
> things about 'being gay.' For example, "I hate that. That's so gay."
> Over time, we start associated negative things to 'being gay' --
> especially for young people. As a substitute in middle school, I saw a
> surprisingly strong impact that such a simple phrase had on young gay
> men (and probably women).
> 
> 
> This is even more difficult for young people who are just coming to
> terms with being gay. It adds an extra stumbling block to the process
> of accepting oneself. Although I am not directly linking this
> statement to the young gay suicide rate, please note that, because gay
> individuals are 'shunned' in society, there is a much higher rate of
> suicide in young gay youth. Many just have a difficult time believing
> they "could be that way" (i.e., such a negative thing) and choose not
> to live.
> 
> 
> So, I ask you, without censoring yourself... without crimping your
> style of communication as much as possible, could you please be aware
> that that particular phrase is known to be hurtful to many people.
> And, being hurtful, intentional or not, is generally not considered
> excellent.
> 
> 
> Hopefully I did that in an excellent manner. If not, I really *really*
> apologize. My intent is not to curb how you speak, or point blame in
> any way. I only wanted to make certain you knew that, for people I
> know personally, constant repetition of that phrase has really caused
> harm.
> 
> 
> All the best.... :)  
> 
> 
> Warmest Regards,
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Glen Jarvis
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