[Noisebridge-discuss] New furniture

[Tony Longshanks LeTigre]

I had not seen or read the apology message before I posted my message. I've
been too busy to read most of the posts lately, but I skim them to keep a
handle on what's going on at least. I saw something that made me react &
didn't have or take the time to read exhaustively through the thread. I
apologize if my response seemed "aggro," it was intended as criticism but
not a full-frontal attack & certainly not a troll post; actually I made an
effort to end it on a positive, forward-moving note. I will try to be more
exhaustive in reading before responding in future.

+11+

On Tue, Dec 4, 2012 at 4:02 PM, Brian Cloutier
<briancloutier2010 at gmail.com>wrote:

>
> >I think you owe him (and Josh) an apology for the unqualified harshness
>
> >You are overreacting.
>
> You guys do realize she said sorry right?
>
> > Maybe you will all love this, as I will now make an example of my own
> cognitive fallacies, instead of someone else's. [...] I just reread my
> exchange with josh and while I called him out for challenging my statements
> rather than querying them, [...]. The wording is, in fact, a query.
>
> "After some review, it turns out that I was wrong"
>
> >  How much of that set of my assumptions come from my knowledge of josh
> and past interactions with him? How much is rooted in other experiences I
> have had?  In this case especially I am not really sure.
>
> "We've been dicks to each other in the past, so I made a rash judgement
> and assumed that pattern was continuing"
>
> > We are a sort of organic computer that constructs algorithms based on
> data of interactions. If everyone bases their reactions to each other on
> past experiences then there is some necessary noise in the system.
>
> "We are all human, and we all mistakes"
>
> > but what about for all those crazy feminist bitches who flip out every
> time you interrupt them?
>
> "Again my bad, I overreacted."
>
> > How do you deal with the ways that people act and react, especially when
> they are different than what you might be wanting? I deal with it by trying
> to imagine what their motivations are, [...]
>
> "Usually I do try to be empathetic."
>
> > Sometimes I make false conclusions based on my own preconceptions or
> situation. [...]  One thing I like about the
> metacognitive-neurolinguistic-social-interaction field of study is that it
> begins by acknowledging this.
>
> "However this time I really messed up, and I realize that"
>
>
> This is actually a pretty damn good apology. Instead of just saying "I'm
> sorry" Rachel is saying what went wrong, why it happened, and by
> referencing science implicitly stating she'll try to do better in the
> future.
>
> So... can we back off?
>
> - Brian
>
>
> On Tue, Dec 4, 2012 at 2:04 PM, John Withers <jwithers at reddagger.org>wrote:
>
>> I love how anytime anyone disagrees with you going off on people, you
>> can never be wrong because anyone pointing out that you go over the top
>> agro on people who intended no harm, they are evil oppressors.
>>
>> It's win win and possibly one of the most brilliant perma-troll tactics
>> I have ever seen. Very nice work.
>>
>>
>>
>> On Tue, 2012-12-04 at 15:03 -0500, rachel lyra hospodar wrote:
>> >
>> > I found this article by searching "calling out oppression" and
>> > "over-reacting".
>> > http://ab-wg.blogspot.com/2009/01/role-of-allies.html?m=1
>> > Maybe I should make a chart of boringly predictable oblivous
>> > responses, or a robot like lmgtfy that deflects blacklisted emails
>> > using their adjectives as search terms.
>> >
>> > Because there are just so many goshdarned people playing out the same
>> > predictable social dynamics that there are in fact rote predictable
>> > responses to these discussions.
>>
>>
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>>
>
>
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>


-- 
*You should read my diaries after I die—I talk about you a lot in there.*
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