[Noisebridge-discuss] Hacker Headlines: 2011 Retrospective
Tony Longshanks LeTigre
anthonyletigre at gmail.com
Sun Jan 8 22:00:55 UTC 2012
Hey Muppets, Wizards & assorted autonomous Mutants
As a special treat, I give you an advance from
ZiP<http://www.noisebridge.net/wiki/Zine>Issue One (release date Jan.
19!) that I hope will illustrate the healing
and transformative power of humor, without stepping on anyone's toes
You guys have no idea how much fun I have with this stuff. If I could
actually make a *living* doing this? omg
Bcc'ing to a few others I haven't talked to in a while, though you may not
get all the Noisebridge in-jokes
*
HACKER HEADLINES
*A Fond Look Back at 2011 (Plus a Few That Are Current)
*Red Hackerphone Possessed by Irritating Pixie
Hippopotamaphile Editor Decries “Odd-Toed Ungulate” Software Nomenclature
Study Finds History Repeating Itself More Often, Alzheimer's Feared
Assault Alleged at Noisebridge, Email Storm Expected
Member Accused of Assault Storms Out of Space Vowing Never to Return
Member Accused of Assault Returns After Two-Day Hiatus, Seizes Control of
Kitchen
Katherine Plans Chinese Dinner for Christmas, States She is Not Jewish
Soup-Making Endeavor Results in Messy Blender Blunder
Cockroaches Believed to be Coordinating Raids with Mice
Drywall Sanding Coats Hackerspace with Fine White Powder, DEA Investigates
Noisebridge Assault Victim Expected to Make Full Recovery
Occupy Wall Street Camp Evicted, Moves to Noisebridge Sofas
RAYCE Receives Harsh Smackdown at Member Meeting
Coffee Grounds Prove Excellent Substrate for Shiitake Spores
Noisebridge Code Writer Delights with Don LaFontaine Impression
ZiP Editor Sleeps Through Class Again, Won't Ever Learn at This Rate
Hackers Rendered Irrelevant as New Program Allows Computers to Hack
Themselves
Flesh Eating Computer Virus Unaffected by e-PARASITE Bill
Pirates Fight for Right to Party, Accuse SOPA of Hate Speech
Thanksgiving Feast Results in Gluttony, Excessive Eggnog Consumption
Money Believed Stolen From Unsecured Receptacle in Middle of Busy Open Space
Large Sofa Disappears from Library, Foul Play Not Ruled Out
Missing Sofa Now Homeless, Spotted in Various Places
Board of Directors Overheard Mocking Their Own Authority
Food Items Marked NO SHARE on Only 4 out of 6 Sides Assumed Up for Grabs
New Bill Would Restrict Fire Escape Use to Escaping From Fires Only,
Smokers Choke with Indignation
Dearth of Disabled Hackers Blamed for Recreational Use of Wheelchair
Cripples, Queers and Fatsos Accuse Headline Writer of Insensitive and
Hateful Language
Noisebot Programmed to Single Out and Disparage White Male Oppressors in
New Inclusiveness Initiative
Humor Attempted to Defuse Touchy Subject Flies Over Heads, Lands on
Forbidden Fire Escape
Leftover Christmas Food Attracts Rats, Does Little to Improve Air Quality
Clever Hacker Asks What Would Happen if Corporate Machine were Simply
Unplugged
Ribald Stand-up Comedian Trapped in Elevator with Anti-Oppression Activists
Military-Industrial Complex Issued Foreclosure Notice by Group of Anarchist
Pranksters
Bioluminescent Mushrooms Considered Very Cool Despite Lack of Psilocybin
Neglected Crisper in Fridge Believed to be Source of Unpleasant Smell
One Percent Sympathizer Feels Almost Everyone is Against Him
ZiP Editor with Virtually No Programming Knowledge Makes it Up as He Goes
Along, Apparently Convinces
Activist Code Writer Claims Binary System is Broken, Proposes Adding Number
2
Cursory Observations Reveal Wide Range of Emotional Maturity Levels Among
Noisebridge Users
Joergen Stays Late Christmas Night, Rocks Out on Guitar Again
Noisebridge Member Wishes to Remain in Background, Would Hate This Headline
New Study Finds Unemployed Slackers Have More Free Time, Get Less Done
ZiP Editor Wishes to Write for Onion One Day*
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