[Noisebridge-discuss] A sad sad day in the mission

[Tony Longshanks LeTigre]

Jeezus, Cliff, don't scare us like that. There's so much real-life bad news
I was really dreading the next paragraph. But the next paragraph became the
next, & so on & on, & nothing really bad ever happened. (Unlike that
concert doc of Altamont. I'm still trying to get over that.)

Seriously though, Cliff & Rob did clean the christ out of the hackerspace
all Saturday night leading into Sunday morning. Before I left the cafe
tables were so clean you could eat off 'em.

So thanks for that!

+11+

On Sun, Jan 27, 2013 at 1:19 PM, Cliff Sullivan <thatabstract at gmail.com>wrote:

> Hello Noisebridge Discuss! This is Cliff and this so happens to be my 1st
> time posting to the NB discuss list.  I wish I was coming to tell you all
> of glorious adventures from the Nightwatch and about epic projects being
> completed like a boss.  No ladies and gents, it is a sad sad morning here
> in the ol' Mission.  While Frank Zappa Jr. and I mercifully fought off
> fatigue and sleep this morning in order to diligently and painstakingly
> clean the space for today's final day of the Hackerathon, we came across a
> sight so appalling that Frank Zappa Jr. has been huddled in a corner
> sitting indian style, mumbling chants, and praying with his Rosary Beads in
> order to save all of your souls from a crime so appalling my hands tremble
> as I type this VERY message.  As I was sorting through the mountains of
> recycling from last nights soiree, I came across at first glance to an
> empty 12 pack of Corona.  I picked the box up, "Hmm feels a bit heavy for
> an empty 12 pack" I naively thought to myself--only to be downright
> horrified and sick as a dog that's eaten a whole pan of Ganja Brownies when
> I pulled back the Corona's cardboard lid and discovered 2 FULL BOTTLES of
> angelically pristine high quality watered down Corona Extra.  I immediately
> felt sick to my stomach at this dastardly sight and puked a little bit into
> Frank Zappa Jr.'s mouth (He's gotta baby bird fetish, deal with it).
>
> I then went into shock and wondered who would commit such a brazen and
> open and shut case of alcohol abuse.  Did this person even begin to
> understand that this sweet nectar of the gods had made a long and tiresome
> journey across Mexico on the back of underfed burros led by poor indigenous
> farmers so that you may kick back and enjoy a tasty beverage while trolling
> Leaderfags and whitenighting in "Rate Me Threads" on /B? D.I.A.F! (sorta
> kidding, but NO, not really).
>
> Where I come from (PBR & Miller High Life Country) acts of alcohol abuse
> are instantly met with severe repercussions of social group banishment and
> spending the next 20 years in Grandma's basement watching the New Hit
> Series "Girl Meets Boy" starring jawdropping vixen of the screen Topenga
> and Fred Savage's Brother while hashing out a miserable existence crying,
> masturbating, crying, masturbating, and crying.
>
> Frank Zappa Jr. and I have decided that this heinous atrocity has
> corrupted and tarnished the core values of this hackerspace making
> consensus defacto on the grounds that:
>
> 1. You are NOT being EXCELLENT to the indigent and alcohol famished
> co-inhabitants of the space.
>
> 2. You are NOT being EXCELLENT to Corona Corporation and thousands of poor
> indigenous worker-beer alchegicians (alchemist+magicians, I make new words,
> deal    with it)
>
> Frank Zappa Jr. and I believe the consensus process is unquestionably
> corrupted and whereby called an emergency G.A. to decide on proper
> punishment. After a deep meditation in the spirit cave, an inner endless
> river of compassion overwhelmed the soul, leading to a conscious decision
> against banishment and double castration-- the normal protocol for
> punishment for the crime of ALCOHOL ABUSE.
>
> Whereby we've privately reached consensus that the punishment be as
> follows:
>
> 1. The back classroom for the next week will be transformed into a giant
> waterbed and film screening room in solidarity with SleepBridge - A Place
> to Sleep also in association with my current guerrilla film viewing project
> "Cinema Chop Sooey".
>
> 2.  Three adult calico/orange tabby master mouser killa kittehs will be
> adopted, THE TEAM ASSEMBLED.  A sky cam stretching from one end of N.B. to
> the other will be assembled. We will use this and Kitty Cams on popped
> collars to begin filming a new wave of documentary shorts under the working
> title "Indifferent Nature."  MAYHEM, Mutilated Mouses, and kittehs
> murdering faster than cheetahs test driving Ferraris high on speed.  There
> will be TONS of BLOOD and sleeping (Srsly, they're gonna sleep like 20
> hours/day, LUCKY).
>
> Goodluck and quit wasting perfectly good beer!!
>
> Cheers!
>
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>
>


-- 
*You should read my diaries after I die—I talk about you a lot in there.*
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