[Noisebridge-discuss] words

Hannah Grimm dharlette at gmail.com
Thu Oct 17 00:37:10 UTC 2013

First of all, I find it really heartening that the response to someone
throwing around the word "rape" as a joke (and Johnny, that is *exactly* what
this was, you said yourself that this was "tongue-in-cheek" humor) has been
so many people speaking up against this kind of behavior.  I do want to
address some of the arguments I've been hearing, since they come up so

"Free speech!  Censorship!": Just because you *can* say something doesn't
mean you *should*.  The first amendment may give you the right to be an
asshole, but it does not obligate you to be one.  Additionally, while you
may have a right to say something, Noisebridge isn't under any obligation
to provide you with a platform or an audience.

"I can make rape jokes because my mother/sister/friend/self was raped":
 Being in proximity to suffering does not mean you understand it.

"I can make rape jokes because my mother/sister/friend/self is a woman":
Your mother/sister/friend/self is not a representative for all womankind.
 Just because you know one woman who is willing to put up with poor
behavior doesn't mean all of us are okay with it, and lets be honest:
there's enormous pressure to be the "cool girl" in tech who's just "one of
the guys."  When women are punished for speaking up, you should think twice
about the reasons why some women choose to stay silent.

"I can make rape jokes because I am a victim of abuse.": As horrible as it
is, the truth is that there is such a thing as the cycle of abuse.  People
who are abused as children are more likely to go on to abuse others, not
less.  Having been victimized in the past is horrible, and it means that
you are deserving of support and sympathy in dealing with that trauma, but
it does not mean that you are suddenly absolved of all future sins.

Thanks to everyone who called out this kind of language; I'm really glad
we're actually seeing positive change as a result of the anti-harassment

On Wed, Oct 16, 2013 at 5:14 PM, spinach williams <
spinach.williams at gmail.com> wrote:

> On Wed, Oct 16, 2013 at 4:00 PM, Johny Radio <johnyradio at gmail.com> wrote:
> >So i shall be extra careful to consider my words. I only humbly suggest
> that people consider not being so quick to judge and accuse a person, or a
> sentence, on the basis of a syllable.
> that's cool, but do keep in mind when you're called out it is not an act
> of judgment against you, ever, but against an action. there's no need to
> get defensive or share life stories in the future -- someone without any of
> your experiences could've done the same thing, apologized, backed off and
> it would be left at that. in summation, chill.
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